Lately I’ve been giving a lot of thought to my life as a writer. A lot of people tend to think of writing as “just a hobby,” or that it’s not necessarily that hard to write a novel. And ok…so it might be “just a hobby” for some writers. And maybe writing a book does come easily to some.

For me? Writing doesn’t always come easy. To be honest, I sometimes see it as a form of self-torture depending on the project I’m working on. But I’ve known since I was a child that it was my calling in life–something I always run back to, even when I don’t necessarily feel up to the task.

Sometimes the words flow effortlessly, and sometimes they just don’t. I’ve had instances where I’ve written the bulk of a story within a week or less, and I’ve dealt with writer’s block on a story that spanned years. Over the course of my writing life, I’ve come to understand that my characters call the shots. Sometimes they’re ready to scream their story from the rooftops, and sometimes they want to take a little more time to grow. And yes, their growth depends A LOT on my own.

Here’s an example: I started writing Every Time We Say Goodbye over 15 years ago. It began as a short story based on the first time I fell in love. The interesting thing about writing a story based on something so personal is that you’re emotionally-connected to the characters–they are, in essence, an extension of yourself and those you love. I’ve always found those stories the hardest to write because of the emotions they bring to the surface.

But the more I worked on ETWSG, the more the characters wanted to tell their own story–in three parts, over the span of six years. And that’s perfectly fine if the writer has experienced the stages of life that the characters have. But at the time, I was just beginning to really experience my life beyond the first part. Just like my characters, I had to evolve before I could continue on their journey. And while it drove me crazy wanting to lose myself in their world, I know the story has turned out so much better than it ever could have had rushed it to completion.

Holding On and Letting Go, on the other hand, was a lot easier for me to write. I still fell in love with my characters (I always do), but I wasn’t quite as connected to the story as I was with ETWSG. The writing experience with HOLG was much different, and I managed to write most of the first draft within three weeks.

That said, it’s still not always easy to sit down and write–especially if you have other responsibilities like a job, a family, pets to take care of, or even homework to complete. I’ve experienced all of this at various points throughout my life as a writer, and I’ve sometimes found it difficult to divide my time in a way that doesn’t impact the writing process. Stress, mood, and everyday distractions can and WILL impact how you write. They will determine whether you have a day where the words seem to flow faster than you can type, or a day where you can’t remember a synonym for the word “big.”

Where it comes to family, sometimes my writing influences how I interact with them. I tend to absorb the emotions of my characters. When they’re happy, I’m happy. When they’re angry, I become extremely touchy. And when they’re sad, I tend to cry at the drop of a hat. Then there are the times that my characters keep me awake until the sun rises, and then I have to deal with sleep deprivation (never a good thing).

Anyway, I could go on and on about the trials and tribulations of being a writer. But the truth is, even through writer’s block and lack of sleep and days where I would rather kill my characters than listen to them, I love what I do. I love creating stories, and I love the feeling that comes with knowing you’ve written something worth reading. And even when the characters seem to disappear from my head, I know they’ll always come back from vacation–more often than not with an even better story to tell.