Well, it’s been quite awhile since I actually took time to work on the website or post an update. I wish I could say that my absence was due to being completely focused on writing. Honestly, I wish I could tell everyone that I was doing anything remotely close to writing. Unfortunately that’s not the case.

Full disclosure: my year hasn’t been great, and that hasn’t lent itself well to inspiration or creativity. In the past few months, I’ve dealt with so many ups and downs that I was almost certain that my muse had chosen to abandon me rather than continue riding this roller coaster I’ve been trapped on. Thankfully, she’s started whispering in my ear a little in the past week–even if it’s just to let me know that she’s still there.

So what has made this year such a menace? Well, just name something and I’m pretty sure it’s happened.

Crisis #1: Sometime last year, my immune system decided to rebel against me, forcing me to see my doctor who ordered test after test to figure things out. When those came back inconclusive, he referred me to a rheumatologist in October for even more tests. And voila! I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder called spondyloarthropathy (try saying that five times fast) and psoriatic arthritis. Needless to say, I’ve had to redirect my research (and energy) to learning everything I can about my illness and how to control it.

Crisis #2: My stepfather was forced to quit his job due to a disabling illness. After months of trying to figure out what was going on, it was discovered that he needed bypass surgery for an artery leading to his legs. Thankfully they caught this in time and he’s now on the mend, but I spent three weeks in Florida helping my mother take care of him while he recovered.

Crisis #3: Just before my stepdad’s surgery, my biological dad ended up in the ICU on a ventilator with pneumonia. Thankfully he pulled through that one, but sadly that led to Crisis #4 when he collapsed at home and ended up back in the ICU just a few weeks ago. While the doctors did everything they could, my father passed away on Nov. 8 while I was on my way to the airport to fly down to be with him. (I miss you dad…so very much.)

A few other emergencies arose throughout all of the above. We lost my husband’s grandmother in June, and my brother-in-law’s mother in October. I also found out just before my father passed away that an old friend of mine had lost his battle with depression. It’s definitely been a very sad year all around.

But here’s the thing–I refuse to allow all this tragedy to break me down. While the universe has continuously bombarded me with meteors at every turn, I’ve managed to keep my spirits up remembering all the GOOD things that have also happened this year.

I reconnected with my brothers and my childhood best friend.

I finally met my adorable nephew.

I’ve made new friends and strengthened my relationship with others.

I found out why my body was a mess and am now determined to heal to the best of my abilities.

I set the framework for my future, started writing a new book, and finished writing “Holding On and Letting Go” which is now in its beta-reader phase.

The truth is, I have A LOT to be thankful for despite how painful its been lately. In a way, everything that has happened to me this year has taught me what really matters in life. I have friends and family who love and support me through the good AND the bad, and that’s really all I need to keep me going.

So, to hell with the universe and its meteors. Meteors crash and burn into nearly nothing in a matter of seconds, but stars? They continue to shine on, just as they have for eons. Just as Shakespeare once wrote, “It is the stars. The stars above us, govern our conditions.”

I rather like that wisdom.